Bigger Than a Box

One thing I constantly prayed for while I was pregnant was that Connor would have no problems breastfeeding. This was something I so badly wanted for him and me. Well...the Lord answered my prayer! Connor is a champ when it comes to eating. Not only has he not had trouble latching on, but he is very efficient. It literally takes him 10 minutes to eat. I was concerned at first because every book I read it said to feed 20 minutes each side - WHAT?! Well, Connor must be impatient like me and decided that he didn't have time for all that. The doctor says he is healthy as can be and that he and I are just a good team :) Well, in the midst of praying about this, I never once thought about the possibility of Connor having to take a bottle. I never thought about it until he had to take one. I started back to work which means that while I'm there Keith, or whomever is watching him, has to feed him with milk I left. This has not been going well at all. Friends have offered suggestions and after running to the store three or four different times for different bottles, nothing has worked. He just fusses and won't latch on. I was very worried about this since this past weekend I was working a wedding in Knoxville and I knew it would be an all day affair. I didn't want my poor baby to starve!

Well, as Connor and I were driving over the mountain, I was admiring all of the amazing fall colors on the trees (they are gorgeous!). I began thanking God for his beautiful art work and for all His promises. He immediately began speaking to me. He reminded me that He is much bigger than the box I constantly put Him in. He is bigger than any problem I face - even the bottle situation. I began crying as I drove and listened to God (not a good combination...driving and crying that is). I continued to thank Him for His constant pursuit after me even when I doubt Him, when I try to take control, and when I put Him in a small box as if to say that He can't take care of me or my problems. I know that no problem or trial I face is too big for Him - He just has to remind me of that sometimes. I cannot begin to explain the overwhelming sense of peace I had in my heart at that exact moment.

Now, did Connor take a bottle while I was at work? Not any better than he has in the past. But, I know that he didn't starve and that God was watching over him. If he were hungry enough, he would eat. The best piece of advice I got while I was pregnant was this - Connor isn't mine, he is God's and God is loaning him to me for this short time we're here on earth.

Thank you LORD for being bigger than the box I try to put You in.